Losing Luke
by DiehardJavaJunkie14
Summary: What happens when one of Luke's exes returns to Stars Hollow, looking to rekindle what was lost... only to find out Luke has moved on?
1. What Brings You to the Hollow?

She drove down the highway, re-thinking what she was about to do. She fidgeted with the knobs on the radio, debating going through with what she thought she wanted to do. Was she too late? Was she crazy? She had to be crazy if she thought Luke Danes would take her back again. She was getting closer to Stars Hollow, however, and nothing could stop her. Her mind was mostly made up, barring a few weak moments of indecision. But then again, she couldn't stay put for long… was that indecision, insecurity? Rachel was going to win Luke Danes back if it was the last thing she did. If Luke wasn't already married, or if those rumors were true.

Rachel had heard each of the rumors. Whether the rumors were true or untrue, she wasn't sure. But she would soon find out. She had talked to Luke about his relationship with Lorelai Gilmore before, and he swore up and down that they were just friends. If that were true, she would know that from the moment she returned to Stars Hollow. But the things she had heard were pointing to signs of a Luke and Lorelai relationship.

The exit was fast approaching, and Rachel couldn't help but let her mind wander. She thought about how Luke was. Was Luke married? She hoped not. Did he look different? Probably not… after all, he was Luke Danes. Flannel, backwards baseball cap, and all.

Luke Danes. The sound of his name in her head made Rachel smile. She didn't know what brought her back to Stars Hollow, and she had no idea why the wild and crazy part of her was taking over, but she had gone through a rough time in her life since she saw Luke last. Throughout everything, all that she could think about was missing him.

She drove awhile longer and easily found her way back to the town she loved. The town seemed busier than usual, and Rachel was curious as to why. She stared at the gazebo, hoping to get a hint of what was going on. No such luck. As she focused on the town square, a woman in an obvious frenzy ran into her.

"Rachel? Sugah, is that you?" shrieked Babette.

Rachel smiled. "Yes, it's me, how are you, Babette?"

Babette shrugged. "Eh, we're all doin' just fine, doll. What brings you back to the Hollow?"

Rachel paused for a moment, searching for the right answer. Getting Luke back wasn't an answer for Babette to know… she would spread it around town like wildfire. She decided to tell a part of the truth. "I miss it here," she stated simply.

Babette nodded, and quickly excused herself. She ran toward Miss Patty's as fast as she could. Where else would she go? Rachel sensed that everyone would know about her arrival within the next few minutes, and she wasn't looking forward to that idea.

Should she go and talk to Luke before everyone else sees her? Or should she blend in, stay cool, and find him later? Rachel stood across the street from Luke's Diner, pondering her next move.

Somehow her feet began moving, pulling her toward the diner, when her mind was convincing her feet to stay put. She stopped, in the middle of the street, and walked back to the gazebo. She was in a moment of indecision and fear. Why was this becoming so hard all of a sudden? She made it all the way to Stars Hollow without turning around, how was this any different?

Rachel stood and observed the hustle and bustle of the town for a little while, determining that there had to be some sort of festival, or something, going on that day. They were definitely in the festival mode.

"Excuse me, my name is Kirk Gleason, and I have a proposition for you."

Rachel turned around at the sound of Kirk's voice. "Kirk, I'm really not in the mood right now."

"RACHEL? Wow, this is BIG. RACHEL is here. Haven't you heard yet?" Kirk asked.

Rachel suddenly became interested in what Kirk had to say. "Heard what?" she asked, turning toward him.

"About Luke. Wow, I'm surprised you haven't heard yet. It's all everyone's been talking about," Kirk offered.

She thought for a moment. Did she really want to hear about what was going on from Kirk, of all people? She'd much rather be let down by Luke. That is, if she would be let down at all.

"Well, Kirk, I need to get going, actually. It was good to see you."

Rachel mustered up all the courage she could, and walked into the diner, as Kirk watched, biting his nails… he knew what Rachel didn't.


	2. Perfect Shot

Rachel opened the door to the diner, confused to find the diner completely empty on such a busy summer day. Was today a town holiday? She sat at the counter, her heart beating so loud she could hear it in her ears. Tapping her fingers against the counter, she seemed positive that Luke would come out momentarily.

She sat and waited for awhile, until Caesar came out of the kitchen.

"Hi. Wow, you're actually here… can I help you today?" Caesar asked, seeming anxious to have a customer.

"I'll get a coffee. Is Luke here today?" Rachel asked.

Caesar gave Rachel a confused look. "Why would Luke come into the diner on his wedding day?"

Rachel was stunned, confused, shocked… every emotion of that nature, wrapped into one. Luke was getting married?

"Oh. It's his wedding day today? I didn't know he was engaged… okay, I knew he was engaged, but I… didn't know."

Caesar shrugged. "Well, everybody knows. It's June 3rd. It's the biggest day of the year! He and Lorelai are getting married in the town square, it's today at three… you should go," Caesar said.

Rachel nodded, paid for her coffee, and walked out of the diner. Part of her was broken hearted, empty, and upset… she loved Luke, and she let him go… and she let him go for Lorelai to take him. There was so much history there, and it would be a little weird to show up at Luke's wedding, uninvited. It wasn't like she would want to watch him get married, and rub things in even more, fuel the fire and make her even more upset.

But then again, she needed closure. She needed some sort of end, a better ending than there was last time. She needed to talk to him again, to make sure this was what he wanted, and that he was really happy. Because she'd heard he'd gotten married before, on a cruise ship or something. Maybe this wasn't something he wanted, and maybe she was the catalyst he needed to realize it.

On the other hand, Luke was getting married to Lorelai Gilmore. Of course he would be totally and completely happy. Everyone knew they were soul mates, that there was some sort of unwritten law that they were destined, required to be together.

Rachel's indecision, her biggest flaw, was hindering her ability to think clearly, to figure out what she really wanted to do. She went to her car, sitting there for a long time while she thought, or tried to think, at least. She should have known. It was so obvious that Luke would have chosen Lorelai. It was there, staring her in the eye, but she refused to stare back. For a long time, she pretended Lorelai didn't exist. She blatantly ignored the fact that Luke was in love with her, and denied that he was moving on.

Rachel touched up her makeup and her hair, grabbed her camera and stood off to the side, unnoticed, as the wedding began. She snapped picture after picture, almost as a therapy to heal her wounds.

She took pictures of a dashing Luke Danes, dressed up more than she had ever seen him dressed up before. He looked somewhat uncomfortable in a tuxedo, but then again it could have been nerves. She always knew he'd be nervous. How did he propose to her? Did she cry? Rachel wondered all of this as she listened to Luke say his vows. It was almost unreal. For so long, she thought she would be the woman he said them to. But she was just a bystander, a witness to the union… not the bride she thought she would be.

Rachel captured many pictures of a smiling, beautiful Lorelai. She knew she got a shot where her dress sparkled almost as much as her brilliant blue eyes did. She took pictures of Miss Patty and Babette, bawling like babies in their seats, clutching their handkerchiefs. She snapped a picture of Taylor, looking on proudly, almost waiting to be asked to say a few words. He had that look on his face. Rachel got the perfect picture of Rory… she had pride, joy, and love radiating from her smile as she clutched her mother's bouquet. There were even a few hilarious pictures of Kirk, holding back tears in the front row while Lulu sat to his right, squeezing his hand tightly.

She was glad she had plenty of room on her camera when it came time for the ring exchange. Rachel did what she did best, focusing in on the rings, then zooming out to get the larger picture. Luke slipped Lorelai's ring on with care, easing it onto her finger slowly. He then took her hands in his, gently rubbing his finger across the surface of the band, almost trying to absorb the moment.

But the best picture of all was the kiss. The kiss every citizen of Stars Hollow had pictured for ages, happening right before her eyes. It wasn't an obnoxious kiss, one of those where someone gets tilted or leans back. It was a gentle, meaningful, yet passionate, kiss that seemed to tell their story… and rejoice in the fact that they made it that far.

Rachel continued photographing, unnoticed as she captured the first dance. The rumors were true. Luke could waltz. He was a great dancer, careful to lead his new bride without pushing her along the dance floor. And he didn't step on Lorelai's toes, or the dress, either. She captured a teary eyed Rory, toasting to her mother and new stepfather's future, and the happy couple listening to her every word.

There were shots of Jess, lurking in the corner, trying to avoid contact, almost like she was. Richard and Emily appeared in a few pictures, congratulating the couple. Rachel caught Richard giving Luke some sort of approving or congratulating handshake, and the relief in Luke's eyes when Emily gently kissed his cheek. It was almost a moment of acceptance for Luke, it seemed.

She had the perfect camera, and the perfect spot to shoot from. She had so many great pictures. But the focus was on the perfect couple. As Rachel photographed one of Stars Hollow's most momentous occasions, she began to accept the fact that Luke had moved on.

She got in her car, started back down the highway, and contemplated what color scrapbook she should choose to send to them. She wanted Luke to have closure, as did she. There wouldn't be a relationship, but there would always be something there. Rachel felt the need for congratulations and a sign of approval… and she would start the moment she arrived home.


	3. The Scrapbook

Rachel spread all of her pictures out onto the table. She tried to organize them as best as she could. She attempted to finish the scrapbook without getting distracted, or emotional. But somehow, she picked up each and every picture and studied it. She studied the lighting, the facial expressions, and the emotion of each picture. It wasn't to critique her work, but it was to reminisce, in a way. She was actually drawn to the pictures, as much as she hated it.

Rachel still hadn't completely gotten over the shock of the wedding she had attended. It had taken her a long time to comprehend that she and Luke were over to begin with, but the wedding had put an end to any hope she had of salvaging a relationship. It was hard, and looking at the pictures wasn't making it any easier for her.

Her favorite picture was of Luke and Rory dancing. It was such a sweet father-daughter type moment. She made that the center of the page. From there, everything fell into place. Rachel used the groupings of the pictures to create a scrapbook full of memories for Luke and Lorelai. There was a page dedicated to Kirk, Taylor, Babette, Miss Patty, and everyone else who cared for and loved Luke and Lorelai so much.

Making the scrapbook was simple. She had been working on it for a few weeks, and the project was complete without any major problems. The only bump in the metaphorical road was bringing the scrapbook to Luke and Lorelai. Rachel needed closure, but somehow, she just wasn't prepared to obtain that closure. She let the scrapbook sit at her desk for months.

After all, etiquette says that one has an entire year to give the couple their wedding gift. The way things were going lately, Rachel was looking at waiting just about a year to bring the book to Stars Hollow. Every day, she passed the scrapbook, staring her in the face and taunting her.

"Fine, fine, I'll bring it!" Rachel almost shouted one day, to no one in particular. She had taken just about enough from the book, and as much as she tried to cover it up, there was always a little bit of it that peeked out from underneath papers and other supplies.

Maybe that's the way things would be with Luke. As much as she tried to forget he was there, a little piece of him would be around for forever. She couldn't really control it. She'd just have to take it day by day, and hope that the pain of losing Luke would go away.

She picked up the book and dusted it off. Had it really sat that long? She's usually better about things like this. Why did she have to be such a baby about it? Luke was married, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

She placed the scrapbook in a box, and tied a beautiful pink ribbon around it, and placed it in the back seat of her car.

"Now we're getting somewhere," she said to herself. She started the car and sat for a moment. Was she making the right decision? She could have just sent the box, leaving it as an anonymous gift, and she wouldn't have to go through all of this.

Rachel reached for the key and thought about pulling it out of the ignition. But almost as soon as her hand made contact with the key, she jerked it back. "You're going to have to do this, Rachel," she said. "You're way too indecisive for anyone's good." She backed out of the driveway and made the trip she had made almost a year ago.

Maybe this trip wouldn't be as painful. Maybe she'd finally get the closure she needed and be able to move on. Or so she hoped. She drove slowly on the highway, but bursts of speed were frequent. She couldn't figure out whether she wanted to drive quickly, and get the meeting over with, or drive slowly, and avoid it as long as possible.

As the surroundings became more and more familiar, Rachel became more and more nervous. She parked her car in the first legal place to park, grabbed the scrapbook from the backseat, and slammed the door.

Rachel took a deep breath as she approached the Gilmore-Danes house. She stood on the porch, trying not to show her nervousness. She reached over and rang the doorbell.

When Luke answered the door, his face was hard to interpret. He seemed confused, and nervous, and a little skeptical, all at the same time. They stared at each other for a minute, almost as if they were trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Hey," Rachel finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

"Hey… Rachel, come in," Luke said, opening the door.

Rachel smiled and followed Luke inside. The house definitely wasn't Luke, but then again he was married to Lorelai Gilmore.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

"Sure," Rachel replied.

"I hope you like coffee, that's just about all we have around here," Luke said.

Rachel shrugged. "That's fine, thanks."

Rachel sat for a moment while Luke made the coffee.

"Well, this is kind of a surprise. What brings you back?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Rachel sipped her coffee. "Uh, well, I… I kind of crashed your wedding last year, and… I took some pictures. I thought you'd like a wedding gift, it's the least I could do after I showed up uninvited, you know?"

Rachel handed Luke the box. "Wow, Rachel, this is… this is really nice. You didn't have to…"

She put up her hand. "Just open it and enjoy it with Lorelai."

Luke sighed. "Thank you, Rachel. Lorelai's not home yet… she should be back in about 20 minutes or so. Do you mind waiting?"

"If she doesn't mind my being here."

Luke shook his head. "No, no, she won't mind. I'll catch her beforehand so she doesn't start incessantly babbling about something stupid. I'll let her know why you're here."

The two talked for awhile, catching up on Rachel's life. Rachel told Luke about her nonexistent love life, and all about her work. They were just about to focus on Luke when the front door opened.


	4. Closure

"Luke! My ankles look like doughnuts, and I need a massage. And I also need some coffee. Scratch that, I need a lot of coffee. And it better not be decaf! Did I mention that the need for coffee is great? It's very, very great."

A very pregnant Lorelai walked through the door and threw off her shoes. Rachel sat on the couch, trying to let it all sink in. Luke stood up and met Lorelai in the foyer.

"Hey," Luke said.

Lorelai smiled. "Hey, you! Did you hear my coffee rant?" She got on her tiptoes to kiss Luke. "Because in case you didn't, I really need coffee. And just so you know…"

"Lorelai… we have a guest," Luke said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders.

Lorelai's face lit up. "It's Rory, isn't it? Rory said she'd stop by and visit before the baby came! And of course, there's only one more week, so I've naturally been expecting a not-so-surprise visit from her for awhile now! Rory!"

Luke shook his head, trying to break the news to Lorelai that the visitor wasn't Rory. "Ah, Lorelai, Rory hasn't come back quite yet, but… but she will. Rachel's here, she wants to give us something. Come and sit down."

Lorelai gasped. "Rachel's here?" she leaned to her right, trying to catch a glimpse of Rachel. "Rachel is here! Hi, Rachel," Lorelai said, giving a polite wave.

Rachel waved back. "I'm sorry, I know this is… slightly awkward. And don't worry, I'm not trying to steal Luke back or anything. I just came to give you this, and he wanted to wait to open it until you got home." She handed the box to Luke.

Lorelai shook her head. "Don't worry, I know you wouldn't steal Luke. And besides, I'm kind of stuck with him now, and I've… grown slightly attached" she teased, moving closer to Luke on the couch and linking her arm in his.

"She's having my kid, and you'd think she'd be a little more than 'slightly attached' by now," Luke said to Rachel.

"Ah! Luke, I was kidding!" Lorelai said, pouting.

"I know, I know, I was kidding, too," Luke said.

Rachel smiled at the fact that Lorelai wasn't jealous or upset that she came. That was making her really nervous, because she did the same thing to Lorelai… even if there was a basis to her thinking, she was jealous of Lorelai, and that's what ended up bringing her and Luke apart. Rachel tried hard to sort out the emotions in her head.

"Do you want to open it, or can I pull off the ribbon?" Lorelai asked.

Luke handed the box to Lorelai. "That's code for 'Oh, look, that's a pretty ribbon. I think I'll save it, but I need to open the box first, so Luke won't throw the pretty ribbon away," he teased, kissing Lorelai on the cheek.

"Ah, you know me so well, Luke Danes, how did you guess?" Lorelai slipped the ribbon off of the box and tied it onto her wrist. "There! It's almost like a corsage!" she declared, holding it out for Rachel to see.

Rachel smiled and let out a little laugh, almost to let Lorelai know that she approved of the use of the ribbon. She watched as Lorelai gently pulled out the scrapbook from the white box.

"Wow. Rachel, this is absolutely beautiful! You made this for us?" Lorelai asked, in awe of the gift.

Rachel shrugged. "Yeah, but I have to apologize, I didn't get the pictures so meritoriously. I kind of… crashed your wedding," she said. "And I took the pictures, and the least I could do was make it up to you."

Lorelai stared at the cover of the scrapbook, and wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. "Did you at least eat some food?" she asked with a smile.

Luke gently took the scrapbook from Lorelai, gently rubbing her belly on the way by. "It's not the time to bring up the lobsters, all right? Let's look at what Rachel made for us." He carefully opened the scrapbook to the front page. He smiled as he pointed to the first picture.

"That's a really sweet picture, Rachel. Wow, my hair looked really, really nice that day," Lorelai pointed out.

"Your hair looks nice every day. Wait a minute, you never cease to fish for a compliment, do you, Lorelai?" Luke asked, taking her hand in his.

Lorelai shook her head. "Well, it's just too easy for you to take the bait," she teased, putting her head on his shoulder.

Rachel sat back and watched the interaction between the happily married couple. It was something she had always wanted, but now, not with Luke. For the longest time before this, she had regretted everything in the past, and held resentment toward Lorelai. But seeing her with Luke, and the happiness they had together made her happy for them. She realized that there was someone for everyone… she just had to look a little harder.

Many memories and stories were shared over the scrapbook. Rachel was hanging on the couple's every word. She wanted to feel as though she knew how it was to be in such a happy relationship. She didn't know quite yet, but she would someday. After hours of laughs, tears, and silent moments, Rachel needed to get back home.

"Thank you, Rachel, this is a wonderful gift. It was really, really nice of you to do this for us," Lorelai said, standing up from the couch. She walked over to Rachel and gave her a hug.

"You're welcome, Lorelai, I'm glad you liked it," Rachel replied, stunned that Lorelai so easily accepted her.

"I'll walk you out," Luke said. He gave Rachel her coat and walked out onto the porch. "You know, that wasn't necessary for you to do, but you did anyway. Thanks, Rachel."

Rachel smiled. "You're welcome, Luke. I'm glad you and Lorelai like it, and let me know if you need a photographer… I'll be around."

Luke nodded. "I have an idea for Lorelai for Mother's Day. I'll drop you a line," he said.

The two stood awkwardly out on the porch, staring at each other and attempting to figure out what the proper goodbye was.

"I'll see you later," Rachel said.

"Yeah, see ya," Luke said, standing with his hands in his pockets.

"You know you can hug him, right? I mean, like I said, he's stuck with me now," Lorelai said, peeking her head out the window.

Rachel smiled, turning to the window and waving. She gave Luke a hug, and she walked out to her car. She had the closure she needed.


End file.
